BEST JOKES,FUNNY JOKES,ENGLISH JOKES,JOKES IN ENGLISH

 Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game?

A: Their bats flew away.

Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted.

Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.

An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replies, "First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!"

Wife: "In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring."
Husband: "I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill."

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

A mother said to her son, "Look at that kid over there; he's not misbehaving." The son replied, "Maybe he has good parents then!"

Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?"
Son: "I don't have it."
Dad: "Why?"
Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."

A mom texts, "Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?" He texts back, "I Don't Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later." The mom texts him, "It's ok, don't worry about it. I'll ask your sister, love you too."

Q: Can February march?
A: No, but April may.

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Q. How much room is needed for fungi to grow?
A. As mushroom as possible

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.

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