ONE LINER JOKES-HUMOROUS JOKES-LAME JOKES
GOOD ONE LINER JOKES
HUMOROUS JOKES
1- What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
11- What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.
15- Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
-
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all p higher
hen you pick up your car from the garage and you realize that the breaks are still not working, but they made your horn louder.
18- My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, “Well Sarah? Do you think you’ll be next?”
We’ve settled this quickly once I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals.
Siri activates front camera.
20- Years ago, I threw away a boomerang really hard.
I’ve lived in constant fear since.
21- Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
22- It has four legs and it can fly, what is it?
-
Two birds.
23- Many people are shocked when they found out how bad I actually am at this electrician thing.
24- What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler?
2- What do you call bears with no ears? B–
3- They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now!
3- They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now!
4- I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
5- What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
6- Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
7- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
5- What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
6- Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
7- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
8- What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? A maybe.
9- Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu—you get what you deserve.
9- Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu—you get what you deserve.
10- What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.
11- What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.
12- Why aren't koalas actual bears? They don't meet the koalafications.
13- What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope.
14- Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!"
14- Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!"
15- Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
-
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all p higher
than a house? - Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
16- That bizarre moment when you pick up your car from the garage and you realize that the breaks are still not working, but they made your horn louder.
17- A chubbier woman: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
-
Mirror: “Kindly move aside. I can’t see anything.”
16- That bizarre moment when you pick up your car from the garage and you realize that the breaks are still not working, but they made your horn louder.
17- A chubbier woman: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
-
Mirror: “Kindly move aside. I can’t see anything.”
hen you pick up your car from the garage and you realize that the breaks are still not working, but they made your horn louder.
18- My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, “Well Sarah? Do you think you’ll be next?”
We’ve settled this quickly once I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals.
19- Siri, why am I still single?!”
20- Years ago, I threw away a boomerang really hard.
I’ve lived in constant fear since.
21- Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
22- It has four legs and it can fly, what is it?
-
Two birds.
23- Many people are shocked when they found out how bad I actually am at this electrician thing.
24- What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler?
-
Just the Rottweiler.
25- “Daddy, what is an alcoholic?”
-
“Do you see those 4 trees, son? An alcoholic would see 8 trees.”
-
“Um, Dad – there are only 2 trees.”
Just the Rottweiler.
25- “Daddy, what is an alcoholic?”
-
“Do you see those 4 trees, son? An alcoholic would see 8 trees.”
-
“Um, Dad – there are only 2 trees.”
26- My dog is an awesome fashion adviser. Every time I ask him what I look like in my clothes, he says “WOW!”
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